Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Trapped
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
I couldn't help mself!
One did, one didn't, and the other one was along for the ride
All Hallow's Eve
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Just because the package is small....
Monday, October 24, 2011
What are you doing?
Friday, October 21, 2011
Oh bother
Thursday, October 20, 2011
A typical day
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Oh yes I am really doing this. This is a true story.
My finger slowly reached up and pressed the "1 minute" button and the low whir of death began. I walked away not wanting to witness the horror as it drew it's last breath and died on the glass spinning plate (Maybe he would think he was in the 60's on a rotating circular bed as he went on to meet his maker?). Waiting for the beeping to signal that the deed was done and was time to remove the remains seemed like an eternity.
Finally with relief in the air it sounded like a trumpet. I was about to open the door and noticed a small black flicker out of the corner of my eye inside. What?!! To my surprise the little gnat was flying around happily. How could this be? In this very machine I have at one time made an arc of electricity happen trying to cook carrots and the gnat lives?! Oh it is on! All my feelings about performing an act of cruelty went out the window. "Does 2 minutes sound good to you....Harvey?" (I named him Harvey) Alright tough guy! 2 minutes doesn't seem to bother you?! Try 5!
After 5 minutes in the nuclear oven I peaked in to see if he had finally expired. After seeing no movement or body I opened the door slowly. I looked around and lifted the plate and found nothing. Nothing?! After staring at the back of the microwave trying to pick up on any movement it happened!! He flew right into my eye!
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Farmer McDonald has his hands full
This is what happened yesterday while Claire was at school and Sam was napping.
Ben: Old McDonald has a farm
E-I-E-I-OOOOO!
And on that farm he had a........Moose!
E-I-E-I-OOOOO!
With a moose moose here
And a moose moo.......Wait!.........Moose don't make noise.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Fare Fair Faire
I have been so busy with the bazaar this year that I haven't posted in a while. I am afraid that this is just going to be the case for another few weeks. I did manage to catch a mistake about the bazaar recently that no one else has. I guess they may have but no one has brought it to my attention. I have been spelling Fare wrong. We wanted a bit of a play on words for the bazaar and so we named it the Holiday Fare. We liked that since it was like Fair but Fare. I have just realized that I have been combining the words to spell Faire.
I now know this because I made a rather large order of printed signs to Vistaprint with the wrong spelling. It is misspelled on the church sign, website, fliers, and now all the signs to direct traffic where to go. Once I had my "Oh S#@% !" moment and clued Travis in as to what I had done, he thought it was just best to embrace the screw up and say that we invented a new word. I have to say that I am on board with this decision (Since I am committed now) and that if you talk to me openly in public about this I will deny that there was ever a problem in the first place. This was the plan from the beginning.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
My Monster
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Random sentances
I am sitting here in bed thinking of all the things I need to get done this week. House looks like a bomb went off but it needs to be cleaned up before Thursday night because there is going to be a meeting here. Meeting...Bazaar meeting. Not a BAZAAR meeting but a meeting about the bazaar I am in charge of. I have a thousand things I need to get done for my booth in the bazaar and I have no time to do them.
Travis is laying next to me breathing loudly and I kind of want to hit him with a pillow. That would not be so nice but it would feel good. I have had a headache for a couple of days now which is weird for me as I haven't had a headache for a while. I don't like it and my head itches. I keep wanting to do amazing things with my blog but I am having trouble managing my time. I am tired and have no energy and all I want to do is lay in bed all day. My kids have been a mix of good and evil lately. I don't know what to think about that other than they are kids. Maybe they are trying to kill me.
I have killed every Venus fly trap I have ever had. I clearly don't have enough flying bugs in my house to keep them fed. Travis has now decided to read my blog over my shoulder and it is maddening. Maybe I should hit him with a pillow. He did flick me for thinking about hitting him with a pillow once he read it. It would just be revenge.
My head is filled with random thoughts and it feels kind of good to let it out. What other crazy stuff is in there? I like cake. I really liked talking to Sam today like I was hosting a cooking show and had a thick Columbian accent. I don't know why it was Columbian but alas it was and Sam thought it was hilarious. That is the only accent that makes him laugh. I like to read to the kids with different accents but am afraid to do them for anyone else. I had a thought the other day to sue America for the loss of my accent. I love European accents and think they are interesting and classy and I want mine back. I am not happy that it was lost over time and I blame the melting pot that is America. Now as I write and narrate this in my head I am speaking in an Irish accent. Once it starts it can't be stopped. Oh well at least I am fancy in my own head. Ok now I sound like a head case. Off to bed before this turns into a 5 page essay on the crazy firings of my brain.
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Claire's Corner
There is going to be a new regular post with Claire from now on. I will be asking her questions and she will be answering them. I would like to get to the point that others ask her questions and she can answer them. Be thinking of some appropriate questions and when it is time for Claire's Corner I will pick a few and she will answer them.
Q: How old are you?
A: 4
Q: When is your birthday?
A: July
Q: What do you think of the weather today:
A: Um, it's cloudy and this is pretty funny.
Q: What do you want to say?
A: Um, rainbows, plants, Ben said pants and I said PLANTS! That is just silly.
Q: What do you think of Ben?
A: He's 2. He is funny and silly and nice and he likes sharks. Yup, he likes sharks. Ben got a frog from the dentist for doing a good job. He likes big fishies and tiny fishies. He likes playing at the playground and I like to play at the playground. He likes to watch movies and he like to sing songs and stars and the moon. He likes the windy days and sometimes he really likes going everywhere at the stores. I am done about Ben.
Q: What do you think about Sam?
A: He likes to put his hand in his mouth and eat the play ketchup. Sometimes he cries and wakes me up like last night. It's OK. Sam likes Ben. Ben really likes Sam. Sam is a baby and a Sam. Sam Sam Sam Sam.
Q: What do you think about mean people?
A: Queens are mean. Sometimes they can be dangerous. That's it.
Q:Is there anything else you have to say?
A: Yup, I don't know. Maybe Ben can do it?
Again I am opening up the floor to ask Claire questions so be thinking and post a comment. I will pick a few and she will answer them.
Saturday, September 24, 2011
A Corny Fellow
Sam has now discovered that he is a lover of corn. We have given him corn at several meals because we have had a lot of corn around. Plus it keeps him quiet and happy at meal time. Emphasis on quiet. He is getting more teeth and I think the cob feels good on his gums so why not? The problem we are discovering now is that as corn is becoming less and less in season our table is becoming more and more loud. He is now demanding corm at every meal and is not happy when it is not delivered. What are we going to do when our CSA is done in a couple of weeks?!!
Sam: Captains log day 248
It has been 248 days since my arrival on this strange planet. Shortly after entering into the atmosphere, where I found the air breathable and the light bright, I encountered several species that look like me and I have remained with them to this day. There is one that dispenses food which is called Mama and I seem to be the only one who eats what she offers. There is also one called Daddy who is gone for long periods of time. I find that I am overwhelmed with excitement when he returns and I have yet to figure out why this is. Another is shorter then the Mama and Daddy and has adapted their feet to walk on their toes. That one is called Claire. The other short one is just plain loud. That one is called Ben. I have learned that they have given me a name as well, which is Sam. I don't know why, but they seem to like it and it makes me feel tingly inside when they hold me and say it.
One troubling thing I have experienced lately is pain in my mouth. I have several days of pain and then this hard knob erupts. All I want to do it put things in my mouth and bite them. I have bit the food dispenser on the dispensary and it is not preferred. The dispenser yells, I get flicked, and then I am not allowed to eat anymore. I will not be doing this again as it affects meal time.
Over the past 4 days I have been conducting an experiment. After being put down for the long sleep of the day (Which I usually do well) I have been waking in hopes of being picked up and possibly fed. After not receiving these requests I have been screaming to let the Mama and the Daddy know how serious I am at getting one or both of my, now, demands. I even have tried tricking them to think I am asleep. When they think I am down I believe that they decide to go to sleep themselves. When I feel confident that they have achieved slumber I then scream loudly again for an even longer time. In doing this several times in the allotted slumber time I have succeeded a few times now and hope to continue this pattern. I am quite tired but can not let on. I think that I will scream every time they place me in the barred box, which is reserved for sleep, to see what happens. Maybe I will get a meal or never have to be alone again? More to follow later.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Turquoise
While Magda was in town I really wanted to get some photos taken of the family with her. We decided to all wear jeans and solid color tops and the children would be in prints. When we all showed up to meet at Bart and Marilyn's house 3 of us showed up in turquoise, 3 showed up in navy, and the younger girls were both in polka dots. This was not discussed prior but turned out wonderful. We all were so happy with how the photos turned out. Donna Leathers, the photographer and owner of Captivate Photography, did a beautiful job and I look forward to our next set of pictures with her. Anyone interested in her services should check her out as you will not be disappointed. http://www.captivatephoto.com/
Saturday, September 10, 2011
10 Things
1. "You can not do my hair with your feet"
2. "No I didn't say that you could put your head in the oven."
3. "Ben! Don't let Sam spit in your mouth!"
4. "Thank you for telling me that I have a big bottom Claire."
5. "Why did you think putting Cinderella's shoe in you eye was a good idea?"
6. "No, I don't think all moms give cake to their kids for lunch."
7. "Can you please pretend to like your brother so I can get this shot?"
8. "Why did you let the potato bug go down your pants?!!"
9. "Oh no!!! Why did you pee on your pillow?!!"
10. "Did you just slip in barf?!"
Hamming it up
It's a Not So Wonderful Life
Travis and I are sharing a room with him and have decided that we are not going in there to try and "Sleep" through the blood curdling screaming 2 feet from our bed. We choose to hunker down in the living room on the couch and the recliner. After another 20 minutes of enduring the horror I decided that I will try to rock him again. I bring him out to the living room, start the dishwasher, and rock vigorously enough to make it to the moon. It eventually works after 30 minutes of serious restraint so he can't throw his head back and arch his back. I quietly take him back to his bed and stand in the room for a few minutes to make sure he is really asleep. I go out to the living room to wake Travis, who has fallen asleep on the couch, to let him know he can get into the bed now. We both creep back into the room, sneak into the sheets, and get settled to quickly fall asleep. We are in the bed maybe 3 minutes and he wakes only to start screaming yet again. At this point he is dry, fed, warm, burped, drugged, and tired. What the hell is left to do?!! We both want to scream and are now starting to turn on each other and point fingers as to who messed up and woke him up.
After grabbing the blankets and pillows we trundled back out to the living room to try and go to bed. We had come to the conclusion that he was just going to have to scream it out since all our efforts were being thwarted at every turn. We restarted the dishwasher to try to drown out the screaming and get some sleep ourselves. This plan seemed good on paper but trying to sleep while your baby was screaming for some unknown reason is quite difficult and I was straining to hear him over the dishwasher. A mother through and through. After an hour of listening to my baby scream, restarting the dishwasher again, and my husband snoring, I gave into the extreme exhaustion and fell asleep around 3:30am. I awoke to the sound of screaming at 4:30am and was super concerned that Sam was still screaming and rushed back to the bedroom door only to find that the screaming was coming from a different room and a different boy.
Ben woke from a bad dream and was terrified to be in his room without me. I had tried to talk to him and reassure him that no monsters were in his room but he was too scared for talking to do the trick. He was so scared that I had to lay down with him and he had to hold onto my hair and neck to make sure I wasn't going to leave him. After about 45 minutes and half my body being numb I was able to get out from his vice like grip and stumble back to the couch to try and get a smidge more sleep. Of course the kids were up long before we wanted them to be and morning came faster than it should have but bags under your eyes is one of the true marks of being a parent.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
All the dinosaurs are running wild
Monday was our Jurassic trip we had been planning for all of 30 hours. Cher and Magda wanted to take Ben to see the dinosaurs at the zoo. He was so excited to see them as was Claire and Sam was excited to see the older kids so pumped up. We woke up early so we could get there when the zoo opened. Children came from their bedroom like bullets and clambered onto our bed to wake us. It was like Christmas morning. Trav and I stayed up late the night before making sure we had everything packed and ready to go in the morning so all we had to do was eat, get dressed, and hop in the car. Things were going smoothly when I decided to look outside. Clouds? It was supposed to be 78 degrees today and we wanted to get to the zoo early so it would be cool enough that the children wouldn't get overheated and cranky. Clearly not an issue.
I checked the weather online again and it still said it was going to be a nice day. Shorts it is! I brought long sleeved T shirts for the kids just in case they were cold before it burned off. We all piled into the car, kissed Trav goodbye since he had to go to work, and off we went. Just about half way through Gresham it started to rain. Of course. We have been talking this up now all morning and before bed and it is raining. Oh well, we are Oregonians and we can handle rain. If we let rain stop us we would never leave our houses 9 months out of the year.
We arrived to find the parking lot quite full and raining harder when I remembered how much I don't care for going places like this without Trav. There are a ton of people and trying to keep track of 2 kids who are so excited that they follow any crowed of people to go see the next exhibit is nerve wracking. We met up with Cher and Magda and started our quest through the zoo. I knew that Magda and the kids were not going to last too long so I pushed to get to the dinosaurs since that was why we were there. It continued to rain and took a while to find our way there. We decided along the way to stop for lunch. Not long after that we were at the Jurassic gate and could hear the mighty beasts.
Ben at this point started to look a bit concerned with what we were about to see. We walked around the corner and there it was...the first dinosaur! Claire and Cher walked right up to it and were fascinated with it! Ben on the other hand took one look at me and got teary eyed. "They're too scary!" was all he could tell me and hid behind my legs. I picked him up and tried to calm him down by letting him know that they are just pretend and not real like all the other animals we had seen earlier in the day. I tried to walk over with him glued to my neck and waist but when we got about 6' from life sized Dino he panicked and couldn't do it. I reassured him that they were fake and asked him if he wanted to ride in the anti-dinosaur stroller that I had brought just in case (You never know when an anti-dinosaur stroller might be handy. I recommend everyone getting one. I believe that they are available on Amazon for a limited time).
He opted to ride in the safety of the chair for a little while and then decided it was most likely safe because we were in a zoo and not in the wild. He did fine up until we reached the T Rex and then needed a brief sit in the Dino repellent stroller again. In his defense, it was rather large. Overall everyone had a wonderful time and it did eventually stop raining even though it never burned off or got hotter than 62 degrees.