Dear Karen

Dear Karen, Busy can not even begin to describe the last couple of weeks. Our 8th wedding anniversary was on the 3rd, Claire's 5th birthday was on the 5th, and then Travis's birthday is tomorrow. He decided not to have a celebration again this year. I think that is because it is painful as the last birthday party he had you were there. It was a big deal for us as not only was it his 30th birthday but we were announcing that we were expanding our family yet again. We miss you. I am doing the rummage sale again this year for the church which is a huge job and help is scarce but I do enjoy it. I, for the most part, like looking at what people bring and, as you know, like finding bargains. I price things for what I would like pay. It worked in the past and I hope it works again this year. Steve brought in a load of stuff from Matt and Jen. Hidden in the truck was also some of your stuff. Pain and confusion washed over me as I was touching things that I know you treasured. I did decide to keep a couple of things but was tempted to keep it all. I am one of those people, as you know well, who keeps things that I find sentimental. Broken hearted and tearful I only kept 2 items. Why is that hard? I know it is just stuff and not you but here I am clinging on to all that is left. Shana had this beautiful blown glass oil lamp made with Greg's ashes. I really want to have one made from your ashes but it is pricey. Lame I know but we just don't have room in the budget for extras. Plus I don't know if Steve would find it weird to ask for some of your ashes? Claire's party was a hit! It was nice to see the family and the weather could not have been more perfect. She received wonderful gifts and the best gift of all was her own room. We decided that it was time for her to have her own space with all her own girly stuff and not have to worry about her little brothers breaking her toys or destroying what she has made. Ben and Sam are enjoying their room together and the bond between them is growing stronger every day. Ben loves being the "Big Brother" to Sam and showing him the ropes of room ownership. Ben is however struggling with potty training and we are going to hold him back from pre-school. We will send him next fall since the school will not take kids who are not full potty trained. It is disappointing but too much pressure on him backfires and it is hard for everyone. Sam is moving at his own pace like he has for his entire life thus far. He is trying to talk and has recently learned to yell "Go!" He enjoys this because whenever he yells it the older kids run and race each other. Oh the power. He is now climbing up and downstairs, on all of the furniture, and is into everything in the kitchen. Boy have I gotten lax on the rules with the 3rd kid! Kids in the kitchen?! I am trying to teach him to stay on the carpet which has proven to be rough. It consumes all my time which is needed elsewhere but I am determined to make it happen! Trav and I are doing well despite having no money. I remember you telling me about you marriage and that it was also hard with no money. You two loved each other, worked hard, and kept communication open and eventually got established. We definitely love each other, are working hard, and are very good at communication. I know we will stand the test of time as you and Steve were wonderful examples. I can hear Trav filling the sandcastle pool you bought for the kids a few years ago so I should go and slather my very pale children to protect them from the sun. I love and miss you dearly. KT