Mustachio Waxio

We sure know how to have fun.

Dreams

I keep having all these dreams of people I haven't seen in years or since high school. It's weird. The dreams are usually very involved and detailed but normal. By normal I mean that I am not in outer space or flying it's more like in the backyard having a BBQ or driving to pick up kids from school. I keep having dreams where I am married to boys I used to be friends with or wanted to date (I know I met Travis young but there were boys I liked long before he entered the picture).

It takes me a few minutes to realize, upon waking, that I am not actually living the life that I created in my subconscious. At times this week I have been freaked out when I see Travis's face next to me in bed and not the man I was married to in my dream. I haven't shared that with him as I don't think he would like know that I have almost slugged him twice. "Our" kids are my kids I have now but with dream husband's hair color(I believe that Claire is not as cute as a blond as she is as a redish/brownish girl). I don't know quite what to make of all of this. Nothing in the dreams are fantastical it is just daily life stuff.

What I do know is that it is making me very inquisitive as to what these boys are up to now. I really want to know but can't find some of them because they don't exist on the internet. How can these people not have some sort of social web page in this day in age? I am kind of offended because I have all these loose threads that I can't tie up in a pretty bow! It is driving me a little mad. I am also interested to see who I will be dreaming about tonight and hoping that whoever it is has a web page I can browse tomorrow evening secretly.

Dear Karen

Dear Karen,

Today I was searching in my closet trying to find something to wear to church and found a dress tucked way in the back. It was the dress I bought for Greg and Marcie's wedding. I bought it and then had you alter it since I didn't like quite how it fit. I cried this morning just thinking about your hands touching my shoulders and pinning the straps where we wanted them to go. Hearing you laugh as we talked about Claire while you were sewing and making the finishing touches. The loss at times is unbearable. Claire found me crying in the closet and she asked me if I was hurt. I told her that my heart hurt because I was missing you and that sometimes I am sad and need to cry. She looked up at me, took my hand, and told me that it was ok and that she loved me. She is truly the most wonderful girl in this world. I could not have asked God for a better daughter.

My heart is heavy and I am still struggling to maintain regular daily tasks often. I need to get better for my family and have decided that I am going to start going to the pool 3 days a week again. I remember feeling better not only in the body but in the mind as well when I went last year. I am loosing weight again and am starting to gain back some confidence that I had when I lost so much the last time. I really love using the pool as it doesn't feel like you are really doing a lot but the results are amazing.

Magda is in town now for the first time since Ben was 3 months old. The love I have for her courses through my veins. She is one of my favorite people that exists and I wish we lived closer to her. Watching her interact with the kids reminds me of you. She has unconditional love for them and they can do no wrong in her eyes. She is the strongest woman I have ever met and I have so much love and respect for her. If I end up being half the woman she is I will have turned out to be a pretty good person by the end of my life. She thought a lot of you as well. The few times you two spent time together you made a lasting impression on her. You made a lasting impression on most the people you met. It seems like she just got here and now she will be leaving in 2 weeks. It feels unfair that she has to go home so soon as I just don't feel like I got to soak up enough of her. 2 weeks left just isn't enough time.

Travis continues to be wonderful and had a good sermon today. You would be so proud of him as he continues to do his best and care for his family despite all that has happened. You and Steve did a wonderful job making him the man he is today. I am truly in love with him and feel lucky to have him in my life every day. I love him so mush my heart hurts just thinking about him.

It's getting quite late and the kids are sure to wake up early since I stayed up late so I must go. I miss you and hope you are having a wonderful time.

Love,

KT

Moes

Moes is our cat. He is in need of a home where there are no young children on a regular basis. He is declawed in the front, micro chipped, loves other cats, and up to date on all of his shots. Please let us know if he might be of interest to you or anyone you know. He is unhappy living here and needs a new quieter home.