Nature

These are just a couple of photos from our trip to Eagle Crest.

Dear Karen

Dear Karen,

I am sorry it has been so long since I last wrote to you. As I know you will understand life has and hasn't been in the way. Lots of things have changed in the time it has taken me to write you another letter. Greg is with you know. I am sure the two of you are having a great time up there as it is well deserved. Everyone here misses you both daily. I miss Greg but he and I never had the time to build up our relationship like you and I had, so the loss is different. I literally think of you multiple times a day. Everything reminds me of you. Everything has significance.

Travis begged me the other day to make sure that we plan some time where we are not doing anything or traveling places. I have no desire to do this. I am finally succumbing to the grief. It has hit me in waves but this time it feels different. I have to keep busy or I will stay in bed for days only coming out to feed the children. They come to me to play on our bed or be read to. Our health insurance just took away our mental health plan about 6 months ago. Fantastic. Shana did mention in a recent email that she has access to a counselor and that we also might be able to use her as a resource. I might have to do this. I feel like I am failing as a mother and wife. I should open up to those closest to me but I don't want to burden them. I wish I could talk to you in person. We were always great about being honest and sharing. We were very similar in good ways and in bad. I have to admit I am still trying to please everyone.

The kids are fairing well and are enjoying the traveling. The weather stinks this week as it has been raining for 4 days now which is giving us cabin fever and not helping my mood. Claire is also 4 now. This amazes me on two levels. 1 the fact that she has been in our lives for 4 years astounds me. Time has flown by. 2. She is still alive despite her 3 1/2 - 4 year old attitude. For her birthday we took her to the zoo and met our families who could attend and then moved the party to Frank and Naomi's house for cake and presents. It was a good day.

Ben is definitely 2 now and also lucky to be alive. He loves to pout, tell you that you are wrong, and he wants to do everything without help just like his sister. I am afraid for when he turns 4. I may have to move out for a short while. Sam is growing in leaps and bounds and is the only one who doesn't talk back. He is rolling all over the floor, loves to jump in the jump-a-roo, and just today has slowly started army crawling. He is not even 6months old and is starting to crawl. Help me. We have discovered that Sam has an intolerance to the protein found in dairy. That means I am off dairy while I am nursing. This has been very hard for me since you know I have a love for cheese and sour cream. Sam's feet and hands are large for a baby and I think that, like a puppy, he will grow into them and become a rather large person. Not fat just gigantic.

Carol and Maria are coming over on Thursday this week for a visit. I fear I will have a bit of a hard time keeping myself composed but I will do my best. They are lovely women and am glad that they wanted to get together. Steve is also coming out today to visit with the kids. He loves them dearly and vice versa. Claire has come up with names for Steve and my dad. Steve is the old papa (My only conclusion to this name is maybe because Steve's hair is gray?) and my dad is called circle hair papa. It is of course obvious why she calls him that. It is even funnier to see her say his name as she traces a circle around her head where his hairline is.

Potty training is going well for Ben and we are now needing to buy M&M's in bulk. As a bonus he has almost mastered colors. Travis's birthday is on Friday. I think it is going to be a hard one since the last one was full of hope and fun. You were fine, Greg was well enough to bowl,and we announced that we were expecting another baby. This year I think he wants to sweep it under the rug and I am going to let him. We are going to cook ribs and steak at home and the two of us are going out to a movie. Stephanie is living practically around the corner from my parents now and she has agreed to babysit for us. We will pay her in steak and laundry services.

I will write to you again soon I am sure but I need to get ready for Steve who, on most occasions, likes to be early.

Love,

KT

Fly like an eagle

We recently spent 5 days in Eagle Crest and had a wonderful time. There was hiking, swimming, volcanic flats, nature, family, and friends. What's not to like?!