Just because the package is small....

Today was a rough day for Claire. She was just off and had an attitude about her that made me want to send her to a distant content. I chalked it up to growing pains and discovering her own voice which, at times, makes me wonder if she is really only 4. Ben was playing nicely and Sam was sleeping when I noticed Claire quietly sitting behind the sofa balled up. Thinking she was pouting about a previous argument earlier that day I casually asked if she was ok. She turned her head and found her with tears in her eyes. I at first thought she was hurt and when asked she didn't speak. It alarmed me more and I started to fear that something ruptured because she was warm and pale. After pressing her to speak she burst out with "I miss Grandma!" My heart sank and I sat on the floor with her holding her as she cried uncontrollably. "I miss her voice, I miss her kisses, I can't see her anymore!" I didn't know what to do. I just held her. I let her talk and cry. "I want Greg. Greg and Grandma should be here not in Heaven! I want them and I can't have them. It's not fair!" "I know" was all I could say to her. We were both crying and Ben came and sat with us. He didn't even ask what was wrong. He just held us and placed his head on my ribs and held Claire's hand. I let them both know that there will always be a piece missing where Uncle Greg and Grandma were in our lives. We have lots of pictures and stories to keep them alive in our memories. As long as we talk about them we will never forget them and how much they meant to us. I let them know that I can still hear Grandma's voice in my head. Her infectious laugh. I can feel her hugs that I always got upon seeing her even if we had seen each other the previous day. I hear Uncle Greg's voice telling stories about when he was a kid or arguing at the dinner table about something with Uncle Matt and Bapa. I feel Uncle Greg's big strong hugs that I got every time I saw him and of how much he loved them. He loved them. Grandma loved them. I remind them that we are lucky to have been given as much time as we did with them while they were here. This experience with Claire today was a tough one since it made me remember that just because she is small doesn't mean she doesn't understand or comprehend loss. We are almost at the 1 year anniversary of Karen's death. My body can feel it and now I know Claire's does too. I am glad I was able to share such an emotional experience with my daughter and be emotional with her. As much as I initially dreaded having to talk about the loss of Greg and Karen out loud it was good to do and I think we are feeling a little better about life.

What are you doing?

While I was folding laundry and putting it away I took noticed that Claire was talking quite loud to herself. Trying to listen without looking like I was listening I was superficially busy with straitening up and not looking at her at all. She sounded like she was having a conflict between 2 people about where they were headed on their vacation. "The beach or bapa's house?" Still not wanting her to notice I was eavesdropping on her conversation I just said "What are you doing?" She responded with "Just playing." 'What are you playing?" I asked. Her reply was "Just a couple of chicks driving around." I was astounded that she had referred to her female dolls as chicks and turned around to explain that that was not a nice way to speak of the female species. What I did see when I turned around was a couple of chicks driving around.

Oh bother

Well here we go again. It seems like there is never a dull moment here at the "L" house. The bazaar is happening in 2 weeks and the dishwasher flooded the kitchen the other night. We noticed a problem with the floor a couple of weeks ago and Trav investigated the entire kitchen and went under the house where Jerry lives (The dragon) and found no water damage. After looking up the model number and brand of flooring that was originally installed we found out that it is not to be used for bathrooms or kitchens. Of course. The company who manufactures the floor will not replace it because we are not the original owners of the home so we figured we were hosed and were going to have to make due until we could afford to replace the floor ourselves. Large kitchen rug it is!! Not being really happy with that answer I begrudgingly went out and bought a rug to hide the horrible looking and now dangerous tripping hazard floor with a nice red rug. I have grown fond of the rug now and enjoy that it brings out the red wall we have in the kitchen. On the evening of the 19th I stepped on the rug as I went to put dishes in the sink and quickly realized that it was soaked in 1 place. Thinking it was one of the kids that spilled water and didn't want to fess up I blotted it up and went about my evening. We don't usually run the dishwasher during the day and do it while we are sleeping (Trav says the electricity is cheaper at night) but I needed to run it because I spent a lot of the day baking. At about 11pm we were just about to start filling the dishwasher again to run it at night like usual and fount that the entire rug was soaked. After lifting it up and running it outside we noticed a ton of water and more flooring puckering up and swollen with water. I spent the following day making calls, talking to our insurance company, and found we are covered for such a disaster. Whew! This morning the restoration company came and assessed the damage and tore out a lot of the floor and we now have 3 very large industrial fans and an industrial dehumidifier which we have to run constantly until the restoration company comes back at some point on Monday. At this point it looks like the cabinets may have to come out and some of the underlaying floor will need to be replaced. We will be getting a new floor and if the cabinets need to come out basically a new kitchen. On one hand this is a huge pain but I have to admit I am a little excited as I was never super happy with the kitchen but it worked and was basically new so we didn't make a fuss about it. This could be fun? My camera is having some troubles so I only had my phone to snap a couple of pictures but you can see some of the damage and wonderful Barry (Who was very nice and quite funny) did a great job with the kids around and keeping us entertained while he worked.

A typical day

These are just a couple of photos I managed to snap with my phone. They are a great bunch of kids if you

ask me.

Oh yes I am really doing this. This is a true story.

On minute 7 of my ridiculous "Test." We have had another invasion of gnats after having 3 boxes of tomatoes (About 50 lbs) in the house to make marinara sauce for winter. They are everywhere but we are starting to win as we are starting to see less and less of them. After heating up some juice for Sam one flew into the microwave and not really thinking I quickly shut the door. I stood there for a bit watching it fly around and trying to think of a good way to open the door and kill it. Not wanting to risk letting it get away I had an evil thought "Just cook it." Why not? Other than being cruel it seemed like a good plan.

My finger slowly reached up and pressed the "1 minute" button and the low whir of death began. I walked away not wanting to witness the horror as it drew it's last breath and died on the glass spinning plate (Maybe he would think he was in the 60's on a rotating circular bed as he went on to meet his maker?). Waiting for the beeping to signal that the deed was done and was time to remove the remains seemed like an eternity.

Finally with relief in the air it sounded like a trumpet. I was about to open the door and noticed a small black flicker out of the corner of my eye inside. What?!! To my surprise the little gnat was flying around happily. How could this be? In this very machine I have at one time made an arc of electricity happen trying to cook carrots and the gnat lives?! Oh it is on! All my feelings about performing an act of cruelty went out the window. "Does 2 minutes sound good to you....Harvey?" (I named him Harvey) Alright tough guy! 2 minutes doesn't seem to bother you?! Try 5!

After 5 minutes in the nuclear oven I peaked in to see if he had finally expired. After seeing no movement or body I opened the door slowly. I looked around and lifted the plate and found nothing. Nothing?! After staring at the back of the microwave trying to pick up on any movement it happened!! He flew right into my eye!

Farmer McDonald has his hands full

This is what happened yesterday while Claire was at school and Sam was napping.

Ben: Old McDonald has a farm

E-I-E-I-OOOOO!

And on that farm he had a........Moose!

E-I-E-I-OOOOO!

With a moose moose here

And a moose moo.......Wait!.........Moose don't make noise.

Fare Fair Faire

I have been so busy with the bazaar this year that I haven't posted in a while. I am afraid that this is just going to be the case for another few weeks. I did manage to catch a mistake about the bazaar recently that no one else has. I guess they may have but no one has brought it to my attention. I have been spelling Fare wrong. We wanted a bit of a play on words for the bazaar and so we named it the Holiday Fare. We liked that since it was like Fair but Fare. I have just realized that I have been combining the words to spell Faire.

I now know this because I made a rather large order of printed signs to Vistaprint with the wrong spelling. It is misspelled on the church sign, website, fliers, and now all the signs to direct traffic where to go. Once I had my "Oh S#@% !" moment and clued Travis in as to what I had done, he thought it was just best to embrace the screw up and say that we invented a new word. I have to say that I am on board with this decision (Since I am committed now) and that if you talk to me openly in public about this I will deny that there was ever a problem in the first place. This was the plan from the beginning.