I love him

I put Ben to bed after nursing him about an hour ago, burped him in the dark, and laid him down. I stood under the plastic glowing stars on the ceiling and among the vinyl monkeys on the wall and just stared at him. His limp sleeping body lightly raising up and down and the little buzz of his breath made my heart ache. I love him. I love him despite the fact that he pooped today making the bumbo turn into a grotesque soup bow. I love him despite the fact that he cried for an hour while I was trying to make dinner and burned most of it. I love him because he reminds me of Claire and Travis. I love him because he loves Claire. I love him because when I was changing him before bed he couldn't stop laughing when all I was doing was looking at him. I loved him before he was born and I will love him all of my days.